It's Probably Time to get a new Debit Card

    A few days ago I decided that I was bored, hungry, and for once I had a decent amount of cash on me (Decent in my pathetic world is about $25). So I did the scary act of leaving my house to go get some sushi. Getting sushi is somewhat of an event to me, because I normally live off of TV dinners, steamed vegetables, Easy Mac, and Diet Coke. While other people would be apathetic to this, I on the other-hand was PUMPED.

     I dive into my car, blast some music (At a reasonable volume (= ), and get going. Now it was a bit late at night. It was probably anywhere between 9PM and 4AM which caused me to have a very difficult time seeing the road. I reached for my glasses and realized that I had left them at home (I later found them under my bed. No idea how that happened). Now a little bit of blindness is not enough to keep someone as awesome as me from getting dinner, so I continue. I retaliate to my lack of vision by pressing my face forward as much as possible. It was difficult due to me not being used to the awkward position and because I was holding a thermos of coffee that didn't fit nicely into the cup holder like it should.

Hardcore Mode

     At one point I had to take a right turn onto some highway that had a median (That's what I think they are called...) between the two roads. You know, those big slabs of cement that are placed on the roads to prevent people from crossing the lanes and killing things. Well, I had the eyesight of a dead animal, I somehow entered the wrong road. Realizing this and noticing cars coming at me, I had only choice. I ran over the median. There was this piercing grinding noise. I was terrified that the bottom of my car would tear out and I'd have to Flintstone my car rest of the way there. Luckily there was no damage, seriously, I looked under my car when I got home to be sure and you couldn't even tell anything happened. Still, I was really shaken and for the rest of my drive I felt like I had just contracted a terrible disease.

     After about 30 minutes of fearful 10 MPH under the speed limit driving, I arrived at the restaurant. Everything was going awesome. I got enough sushi to last me for two meals for only $15, the person taking my order was very nice, and I saw a friend who I hadn't talked to in a week or so. My life actually seemed decent for a few minutes. Eventually they brought me my meal and I got ready to dart out of there (I ALWAYS eat at home when given the choice, I like the silence), but of course I had to pay first.

     Everything was great...then I realized I had left my cash at home as well. I was stuck at the register looking like a poor confused awkward person (Not far from the truth actually). Luckily I had a debit card in my wallet. I never use that thing, so when they asked me to sign a receipt and show my ID, it felt like a foreign concept. I felt like a freaken business man or something. Excccceepppt... My debit card was damaged so much that it wasn't readable. There's multiple bends and one pretty big tear. I asked, "Can't you just type in the information manually?" The host looked at me and responded, "I could... but I don't know how". After 30 seconds of trying to figure out what to do and dieing a little bit inside, they told me "Guess we'll  have to take the food back, come back more prepared next time". I cried to myself, "THEY BETTER NOT TAKE AWAY MY SUSHI OR I WILL FUCK SHIT UP"... so I calmly said, "Let me try =D".

     I stood at the counter and kept trying to make my card work. I tried different angles, I tried straightening it out, I even tried blowing on it (Hey, it worked on my NES games). Luckily there after a good solid minute of looking like a desperate moron it worked! Quickly, I darted out the door and drove home without running over anything that I shouldn't be running over. Nothing eventful happened on the way home except I spilt some coffee on myself. It doesn't sound bad, but when you're on the highway, you can't react to hot coffee being spilt on you. You feel like you're melting until you finally get into an area with no traffic and are able to clean yourself off with leftover Mcdonalds napkins and a tshirt that's besides you for some reason.

Got home and I was happy again =)