Losing Weight is Expensive

     In my never ending journey to better myself, I have recently decided to "get in shape". While I've always been average weight and eaten healthy, I decided to take it up a notch. Mainly because I want to have a body that everyone will envy and well, I'm pretty damn perfect in every other physical aspect (Deep down, I'm crying as I type this) So this is obviously the physical detail that I need to work on the most.

Oh, and a mustache

     For the past 3-4 weeks, I have devoted about 3 hours a day to either running, lifting weights, or cardio. Finding the time and the motivation has been extremely easy to me. I have no life and I'm shallow enough to want a sexy body. Oooohooohoooh and it gives me an excuse to play more basketball. Which is pretty much my antidepressant.

And my God

      So where others normally fail when it comes to working out, I prosper. Things have been going great so far. I've lost almost 10 pounds, my body is becoming nicely shaped, and my basketball skills don't get me laughed at anymore (as much). I actually enjoy working out, which is something I really did not expect. What I didn't expect even more though was how much it costs to get healthy.


     When you prepare to start exercising, the financial aspect of it is the last thing to come to mind. Maybe it's different for everyone else, but I'm a moron, so excuse me as I explain myself. When I first started, the main things I considered were, "How I am I going to juggle 3 hours at the gym plus a job?" and "Oh fuck, do I have to stop eating Chick-Fil-A for 2 meals a day?". The only financial thing that came to mind was, "Can I get a student discount at the Y?".Only after working out for 3-4 weeks do I now realize that there are many other expenses that go along with this.

     The main thing that will keep your wallet as skinny as your distorted bodyimage of your futureself is food. The unhealthy, yet delicious food products you can get almost anywhere are ALWAYS cheaper than their healthy, less appealing counterparts. You can get a fucking feast at Tacobell for $3.50. Yet, a salad that will both fill you...and actually be good for you will rarely run lower than $6. While it doesn't sound like much, I frequently spend $10-$15 a day extra on food to try to get to my goal. As a pooor... POOOOR guy, this is painful. Watching your friends get 99 cent bottles of soda after spending 10 seconds to make up their mind. Then I'm stuck spending $3.50 on some nastyasfuck smoothie that I had to spend a minute studying to make sure was healthy. It's....it's demoralizing.

Fuck you, man

     A huge mixed blessing is when you go down in clothing size. You feel accomplished, but then you're stuck spending $250 to replenish your wardrobe. If you have large weight loss goal, you're stuck in this huge dilemma of "Do I buy clothes now or later? If I keep just wearing what I own, I'll look like a moron, but I plan on losing more weight. The clothes that I'll buy will be obsolete in 2-3 months.". There's no way you can win.

     Oh, and you do have to count gym memberships, gym clothes, any weights or exercise things that you want around the house. It's expensive AND you risk looking like a tool.

     I guess I live this pathetic, pessimistic life where even when I reach a goal, I still find something to be unhappy about. I'm not going to deny that. So people, please feel bad for me and offer me comfort plzkthx.

Job Interview

     A while back I had a crazy idea that I should probably get a job. The money I had saved from my previous one was running low and I realized that my life was becoming more and more uneventful. At first I loved the idea of not working for a while. I had this awesome idea that I was going to spend my entire days working on music, my entire evenings reading various novels, and my nights would be devoted to sexing womens. However, I have instead just sat here at a computer slowly losing any drive I had in life and all the respect I once had for myself  (To be fair, there wasn't much to begin with).

Just to give you an idea of how I regard myself

     After applying for anywhere between 3 and 300 jobs, I finally got a call from a catering company. Not my top choice, but it would give me a chance to work 40 hours a week and a chance to learn how to make the ultimate pastry.

The ultimate ingredient in the ultimate pastry.

I was told to come in for a job interview the following day at 9 AM, So I went ahead and did everything possible to prepare myself....and that's when stuff started going wrong

     When you don't have a reason to leave the house much, you start to look like well, like you don't leave the house much. So I had this crazy neckbeard thing going on, which is saying something, because I grow facial hair at the rate of a 12 year old girl. After shaving, I noticed that I had somehow left scratches all along my face.and I was bleeding... a lot. Any other time I would have probably enjoyed this. I love those rare moments where I look completely rugged. I also love those moments where I have an excuse to put disinfectant stuffs on my face. I LOVE THE BURNING SENSATION. However, this was not the time to get turned on, so I moved onto the next step,

     As you know, I am about the most manly motherfucker on this planet. With that said, I have purple streaks in my hair and it was fading. Not wanting to look like one of those lesser guys with just a littttlle bit of purple, I threw some hair dye on my hair. While this sounds like a simple, mundane, sexy task... I messed up. I ended up with the right side of my face stained with purple. I would have cleaned this, but I somehow did not take notice of it until 7:30 AM the following day.

     Let me explain how painful the job interview was. After waking up late and having to navigate through the fucked up roads in Charlotte, (Seriously, I never go through there without being forced to detour and having my gps yell at me every few seconds for going the wrong way.) I ended up there right on time. Which means I was late, because you're expected to be at a job interview 5-10 minutes early. It's a confusing thing..I get inside and I'm tired, nervous, and even more unbearable to look at than usual.

     The manager bro asked me the same generic questions that you get everywhere else. I hate being asked , "What makes you want to work here?", I just want to respond with, "BECAUSE I AM POOR AS FUCK", but instead I opt to just tell him that I like the idea of catering. During the interview, the bro kept asking if I was Australian. I do have a bit of an accent (a French one), so I understand. Yet he pestered me every few minutes with lame Australian jokes and swearing up and down that I was lying about my nationality. Literally, the interview was nothing more than 3-4 generic interview questions and about 10 combined minutes of, "YOU'RE SO FREAKEN AUSTRALIAN. DONT BS ME AND TELL ME OTHERWISE >=|".

     At one point, I caught myself licking my lips. It was cold, so I had chapped lips <.<. Along with all the other terrible things going on with my appearance, I was licking my lips for, "I don't know how long", as this guy talked. Here I was nervous as hell, face bleached with purple, cuts and blood all over my face, and now I was licking my lips. Oh and I'm Australian. So while I probably looked like this the entire interview.



He probably saw me like this the entire interview

If you're Australian. You should be offended.

     Needless to say, the interview ended in a very boring, apathetic manner. I doubt I got the job, but I'm just going to take this as a life lesson to never to talk to anyone or shave ever again..

     I hope to use this blog for a mix of humorous and non humorous posts, some about me and some not. So expect just about anything.

     Oh, and here's a fish being fancy.

The fish I hope to be one day

Return

     It's been roughly two months since I made a post here. I would give a good solid reason why this has happened, but I don't have one. We're just going to pretend that the last 2 months haven't exsisted. Like waking up from a coma or the worst hangover you could imagine. Now before I make more uninteresting posts about small details in my life that bother me, I am going to explain all the things that I have planned. Will the ideas cement and actually occur? Probably not, I'm too fuckin' lazy for dat shit. However, when just taking the ideas into consideration, it gives me not only a mental hardon, but an optimistic look of things in the future.

NUMBER ONE!

     I hope to reach a point of making around 2-3 posts a day. Hopefully one of my usual "Stories" along with 1-2 posts that simply contain small thoughts. You know, things that should probably be saved for Twitter, Tumblr, etc. However, I'm not trendy enough to use those sites on a regular basis, so I'll just stick all this stuff here.

THE SECOND ONE!

     Starting tomorrow, I'm going to try my hand at another blog. A blog about basketball, to be exact. Sound exciting to you? Yea, I imagine not. Still, it'll give me a false sense of productivity when I spend large chunks of my day watching the sport. There will also be a podcast on it. You should totally view it. Either you'll be in a state of nirvana as I amazingly talk about the NBA...or you can just laugh at how awkward sound/look (Will it be a video podcast? I don't know. Only if my self esteem allows it)

     I thought I would have a lot more to write here, but I guess not. Here I was thinking, "OH I HAVE SO MUCH GREAT STUFF PLANNED =D" and now I realize that nope, that never happens.

Bass Players don't get any Love

     When I was about 15 years old, I had the sudden urge to learn how to play guitar. I really don't remember why, except that it had something to do with me wanting to make electronica music and synthesizers at the time just confused me. The synthesizer confusion instantly killed the hard-on I had for making electronica, so I decided to learn guitar. Not to mention, I've always wanted to experiment with guitars. Even to this day, the lack of guitar in a lot of electronica music baffles me and I'd love to try to mess around with that.

     Anyway, like all the other cool kids my age, I had this idea that I was gonna learn guitar, become famous, have girls all over me, and make enough money to buy the moon. My first guitar cost me only $79, but that didn't keep me from feeling any less badass. For a few hours, I looked down on rest of the world, because I knew that I was better than everyone else.

My life IN THE FUTURE

     I seriously spent about 5 minutes playing that guitar before giving up the instrument and life altogether. It was difficult, the instrument was uncomfortable, and most of all the damn strings hurt my fingers. Maybe I got so mad that I started to strangle the guitar, but by the time I had gave up, my hand was bleeding. Not just a few drops either, it was if I had just slammed my hand onto a nail. Even now, while I can play guitar decently, I'm still afraid to play without a a guitar pick for this very reason.

Guitar picks kind of look like hearts. There's a reason for this.

     All hope was lost, I was never going to be a sexy, rich musician who would never have a real job. Two years went by in which I had pretty much shunned anything with strings on it. That was until I got a bass guitar for Christmas from my mother. She knew how apathetic I was towards the guitar, so maybe she thought that a bass would reignite my passion for music that didn't involve me spending even more time on the computer to create... or maybe she was playing a sick joke on me. Either one is very possible.

     Unlike the guitar, I surprisingly fell in love with the bass. It was easy to learn the basics and it doesn't murder my hand when playing it. Quickly, I became the best bass player at school (Which wasn't difficult, because I knew like three other people that played bass). I joined multiple bands over that one and a half year period that I was still in highschool and played a good amount of concerts. It was an overall awesome experience, but I noticed one difference between the bass players and the guitar players with all the bands I dealt with.

     As said before, if you're a guitar player in a band that isn't completely terrible, everyone instantly thinks you're awesome and you immediately become twenty times more fuckable. This isn't the same for us bass players. We tend to be forgot about, hiding at the back of the stage during concerts, and rarely do any of us sing. With the way a lot of music is mixed, it's not rare to hear harder rock genres where the bass is barely audible. People, for whatever reason, just aren't impressed by bass players. I wish I knew the answer for this, maybe it's because the instrument is somewhat ugly, maybe because electric guitars allow for more showing off than basses, or maybe us bass players just tend not to have awesome flamboyant personalities that people love. All I know is that people have some weird biased love for singers and guitar players, that we'll be lucky to ever see.

  

Told Myself I Wouldn't do this

     Although this blog was made with very little thought in mind. I told myself that I would try to avoid 2 things; linking to other sites and talking about politics, religion, or anything else that might make someone come and burn my house down due to my weird beliefs. The first one is easy to explain, I see too many blogs where all people do is post pictures and link to stuff. It'd be nice to see some creativity and original content, so I'm avoiding linking to things unless I have something interesting to say about it (I tend not to).

     The next reason is a bit confusing to me. I often talk about risque subjects and form odd beliefs about many things. It's stuff that I would love to talk about one day, but I'm currently going to avoid it because I'm still trying to get people to like this site. Maybe once I establish myself, but who knows when that'll be.

Today I saw this article on Flip Collective (A nice site btw): Obama, Do Something

     As stated before, I don't really have anything interesting to say except... I agree with the post. I wouldn't even be posting about the article if I didn't agree with it so freaken much. It seems that whenever there's a problem now, it's the president's fault. I would just ignore the entire stream of insults, but you get people who go insane over this stuff. I'm not going to go into any more details (I couldn't even if I wanted to) and I'm going to make a "real" blog post before the night is over. Still, it just irritates me how it's not just a small percentage that takes part in this blame game. It's a good amount of the population.